Healing the Mother Wound

Healing the divine feminine, in the form of the original mother wound has been a major theme in my life for the past while. Our mother is our first human contact upon incarnation and our feelings towards her lay the blueprint for what manifests in our lives.

My journey with mother healing began when I had intensely vivid dreams about my future daughter. At the time, I felt utterly unprepared to mother a child, in the sense that my own feelings towards my mother were unresolved. How could I be a way-shower for a child of the New Earth, if I had not yet cleansed my heart of unforgiveness?

I knew that to be the Goddess Mother I dreamt of being, it was imperative to heal those feelings, practise radical forgiveness, and learn to mother myself.

Before healing the mother wound, what we feel we can receive from our mothers is what we believe we are worthy of receiving from the Universe, and Life itself. Because of issues with my mother, I had trouble accepting abundance and found myself in various situations that reflected my internal feelings of lack and emotional poverty.

My material world reflected how I felt about myself, and how worthy of receiving I felt. As my life shifted, I realized there was beauty surrounding me, and yet my mother wound was standing in the way of treasuring and experiencing it. The realization that brought this to conclusion, was that my mother may not be able to give me what I need, but that is okay, because I can get what I need in other ways, or by providing it for myself. I can receive abundantly and experience great love, even if my mother can’t give me what I want and need at this time.

I have also been counselled by the angels and goddesses to see only love in this situation, and to focus on the eternal love that lies beneath all relationships, no matter how negative they may seem.

Kundalini Yoga and the Mother Wound

Kundalini yoga has the power to clear karma when practised regularly. For deep healing, I suggest Kirtan Kriya, as well as Ancestral Healing Kriya, which are simply meditations that can be done sitting down. I found all instructions and music for these on youtube and with a google search.
As I practise these Kriya’s, I can feel my heart releasing grief and resentment from as far back as childhood. Sometimes I even start crying in the middle of the meditation! I celebrate the tears as a part of the emotional detox. I am so grateful for this wonderful practise that is helping prepare me to be a healthy and vibrant parent when the time is right.

We are Never Alone

The table was polished and clean like someone had not sat there for weeks. My mug of chamomile tea sat steeping in a white China mug by my journal. I thought about opening up to a page, but was too empty of words to write anything.
A thin women with pixie hair stood in the kitchen just feet away fixing herself a snack.
Her dark eyes were sunken in and she had the look of a women who had been in many battles. She had to have been about 35, but seemed quite a few life experiences older than that.

“Life’s hard isn’t it, sometimes.”
She said, her first words to me.
I didn’t even know her name.
“Yeah.” I agreed, smiling a little.

I felt warmth, relief, that she knew. She knew what it was like.
“You’ll feel better after being here for a while.” She said like a wise auntie.

A few minutes later she left and I was alone again with my tea and feelings.

When She Came Back

The honey drips like golden, liquified love from the spoon into the hot tea. I stir it around, and the Indian chai tea bag swirls around in a mini whirlpool.
She sits a few feet over at the wooden table, leaning into her elbows and gazing bleary eyed out the window. Her long hair sits unbrushed, in a glamorously unkempt sort of way.
I can tell their are many stories untold behind her lips, some of them probably not so pretty.
Sliding the tea towards her, she looks at me, and I smile closemouthed.

“How are you?” She asks.

“I’m well,” I say, genuinely meaning it.

“And you?”

Her ocean eyes grow a little larger, and she breathes out cautiously.
“Okay.” Her voice quiet and hollow.

I slid my hand over to hers, and we intertwine fingers.

I squeeze once, twice, three times, in rhythm with each word of my thought I love you

It reminds me of something I read it a book once; that you can say I love you to cats by looking them in the eyes and blinking slowly three times while thinking the words. I thought it was a cute idea and always wanted to try it.

She squeezes back, her hand warm and delicate in mine.

I Bow to my Darkness

There came a time in my life where death was inevitable. Not the physical kind, but a death of relationships, life structure and direction.

I see now that this destruction was completely necessary if I was to follow the unfolding of my own truth, and yet it still felt blindingly painful.
Two years ago I learnt the healing art of reiki and began to have visions of myself as my True Self. My hair was long and flowing and I danced in heavenly lights. I longed to embody this is my everyday life, but when I looked around, my surroundings did not support this goal, in fact they completely blocked it.

This was the beginning of the end. Soon after, everything came crashing down and I found myself within the cavelike walls of a dark night of the soul, also referred to as a healing crisis.

Everything out of integrity (which was basically everything) fell apart.

There were nights and days I cried and partitioned with the Universe about WHY was this happening? Why me?
It is now, that I bow to those times of darkness. Thank you, dark night for holding me in the throes of grief. I see now that the deaths of everything in my life was actually a blessing because it created room for a life of authenticity.
As uncomfortable as it was, I would rather endure a death of the old, than continue living a life that does not nourish my growth. One of my greatest needs in life is to simply be me. And to be the real me means taking my power back from everything that does not serve or help me to serve others.
I may have felt confused during my dark night, lost even. Now it is crystal clear; the universe was paving the way for a new beginning that could not have grown from what was living in the past. The dark night provided the release of the old.

And now I stand, irrevocably transformed at the dawn of a beautifully new and mysterious springtime.

Free Yourself by Releasing Mistakes

To know our higher selves as one with us, we let go of our human habits of identifying with pain. Our higher self is the part of us which shines with the light of 1000 suns and is one with the unconditionally loving Universe/God/Goddess.
When we view ourselves as lowly because of our own misdeeds or those of others, we can block our divine connection.

To be wise is not to make no mistakes, but to have the humility to learn from them

Everyone makes mistakes, some very large and others minor. All mistakes result in an opportunity to learn and even forgive. We are not bad people, and there is nothing wrong with us because of our perceived misdeeds.

Our darkest moments are simply part of the wild journey of being human. And to heal our perceptions of our actions, it is necessary to release our grip on them so light can enter.

We hold tightly onto our worst mistakes because we want to heal them. Yet holding on does not fix them or heal the past.
To heal, we let go. We fearlessly release the darkness we’ve been carrying to the loving universe.
This process may feel painful, yet is is part of the evolution occurring on Earth right now.
We are ascending out of centuries of control and disempowerment. And this includes healing the burden of holding our mistakes so tightly.
Believe in your god given ability to learn lessons of unconditional love through every one of your actions and it shall be so.

Who writes the story of our lives?

Many of us have a fear in us that we are indeed the author of our own experience. This can be scary as there are definitely some painful circumstances we’ve gone through that we would never wish to redo again, ever. Though, the lessons gained from those hard times may bless us with knowing how to best respond to life in the future.
Esoteric knowledge states that we draw to us what will teach us the lessons we need to evolve and truly realize the soul as ourselves.

It sounds like a beautiful destination to get to, however what about the mysterious, wondrous and at times treacherous journey there?

The magic in evolution is that we actually do have the power to rise above our problems, and this is how we grow.

We can sit in bitter thought about someone who’s caused us grief, or we can love ourselves enough to move on. Every time we encounter a tricky situation, it’s like a message from our soul that we are able to handle this, and in doing so we will evolve.

Whether we do author our lives or not, it is us that has the final say in our decisions. It is us who decides that yes, I do deserve to move on from the past and forgive or to linger.

No matter the pressures of outside forces, somewhere deep within you, the decision is made. And this is our power.

Are we ready to embrace this?

Children of the Universe

We are creation

All that is wishes for us to love ourselves. We are living, breathing wonders, all born with the potential to live angelically.

When we honour ourselves as beautiful and wonderfully mysterious, we are aligned with the universal love.

Everything that’s happened in our life’s has added up to this magical moment. Ancient and esoteric knowledge is no longer hidden but is available for all. We are, indeed worthy of knowing and living with the laws of life.
There is a threshold from whence we pass from vibrating fear to love. Life cycles onward in its mysterious symphony anyways, so it truly is worth it to accept that love can sustain us.

We can release our grip on scarcity thinking, and it’s mistaken philosophy that we are going to experience lack.

We relax into the flow, knowing life’s surprises, twists, joys and sorrows are the sweeth breath of the universe, infinitely unfolding through us.

Understanding we are perfect right now and letting go of past ideas in exchange for the bliss of experiencing love as a human is the task of the soul.

We are not here to suffer but to expand in ways that bring warmth to our hearts. And in this expression, we show others who may still be suffering, that there is a different way.

This way is not believing negative ideas about ourselves but by trusting in the truth beyond all. The truth that existed and will exist before and after we are born.

See yourself through the eyes of the universe, a blessed and truly beloved being, just as you are.

Evolve out of Wound Consciousness

Beneath the wounding and pain is the original you. The you that existed before this present incarnation and the you that is so precious and divine it cannot be accurately described with words.

As part of the human experience, severe pain and traumatic events happen to us. They do not define us however.

We must ascend out of seeing the pain as us and into a higher realm.

We think we need to identify with the pain to provide ourselves with justice and acknowledgement for the hurt. However, there is a better way. Yes, it was truly awful, what happened. It was completely unfair and we never deserved it.
Yet there is a way of being that vibrates above this pain. It is accessed through the sometimes messy but always beautiful process of healing.

Healing does not erase the wound from the past. Healing provides us with the wider knowledge that it was not our fault. The wound in no way reflects our worth.

We did not cause the wound.

We do not need to attach to the pain, in fact it is quite possible to be free of it, no matter how bad it was!

To be free, we can start with breathing. Inhale with life and creation. Release the need to extract meaning from the pain. Let it be.
Now feel the air around you, and Mother Earth beneath, holding you in place.
Know the space around you as God. Breath in and feel this god truth flawlessly meshing with your body.

What makes God and you whole is knowing that God is whole within you. 

The love truth we seek begins and ends with us.

Exhale with life and consciously vibrate above the pain.

See it for the illusion and lesson it is.

Nothing can and will ever disconnect us from the soul, from the One.

Allow yourself to be nourished and relieved from this.

As this knowledge permeates your being, the attachment to previous wounds may dissolve. And we see that it was never the pain causing the biggest problem but our identification with it.

Our life evolves in miraculous ways when we shift from seeing ourselves as the hurt being to seeing ourselves as the infinitely shining being connected with all that is.

May we all come back to a state of unity and love with each other, Mother Earth and ourselves

Embodiment of Divine Mother

All of creation is birthed from the Mother. All live beings are sourced from the sacred and mysterious void, given life by the mother. As our connection and reverence for ourselves and life is healed and revealed, we realize the beloved space held for us. Seeing that we came from something beyond or physical reality, and feeling gratitude for this, heals us.

We came from somewhere, someone, we are here. We matter. A love and appreciation of Self is perhaps the greatest way to honour our own mother’s, as well as our Mother Earth. When we come back to a space of seeing what is here for us, the limitless supply of gifts here, for us. Nourishing food and pure water, given bountifully by our earth, as well as the profound gift of life given by our mother’s. Of being. No matter the outward appearances, we are born of creation, and loved eternally by all creation. Perhaps there are people in our lives who are still coming from a state of limited awareness and do not understand us and provide for us in the ways we need. We do not need their approval.

Imagine knowing you are loved by them and by all, despite this. A more expansive awareness that all is well, and everyone in their own way, on their own path will realize eventually our divine truth. And what a powerful and transformative effect that would have on your own life, as well as those in relation to you. It simply takes one strong human to let go of the way others view them, and to be the light the world so needs at this time. Your light is needed. You are loved.

And women, no matter in what stage of their life, maiden, mother or crone, are the embodiment of the divine feminine. It is here, within us, that we find love. The love that may slip from our view because of societies pace and harshness. But if society falls, we still have our own love. Love is within us, our creator is within us. Society is just a play that ends, evolves and changes at some point or another. if we want stability, and truth, we must look within.